Fools
by jewzeejew
Summary: A new teacher enters Konoha only to find them struck down by a curse. Based on a play by the same name by Neil Simon.
1. A1 S1

**Here is how it goes.......I'm a theater girl. I work in theater. I don't eat sleep and drink it, but my father was an actor and theater flows through my veins. The play that I recently did was **_**Fools**_** by Neil Simon. (The same guy who wrote **_**The Odd Couple**_**). And a thought popped into my head, 'this can so easily apply to Naruto!'**

**And so, here we go...**

**The story is slightly AUish. They still live in the same village, they just aren't ninjas.**

**And it will be written in script format. :D**

**Story based off of **_**Fools**_** by Neil Simon**

**Characters by Masashi Kishimoto**

**~/~ **_Scene 1 ~_**/~**

(Kakashi _enters. He is carrying a bag and a few books, most of which are orange. He places his things down stage, looks around and then addresses the audience)._

Kakashi: Konoha, not too bad. It seems like a pleasant place, not too large...the perfect place for a new teacher to begin his work. Well, there was that time I was teaching those ungrateful brats spelling and what numbers were, but this...this is my first _real_ job. To tell you the truth, I have never heard of this place. I saw an advertisement in my university's newspaper by a Dr. Tsunade Sunju. Although this village was in the middle of the woods, I'm not one to pass up a chance like this. (_He looks around)_ Strange, there is no one around. Did I show up late again? Oh well, I'll try to find my way to the doctor's office.

(_As he begins to gather his things,_ Shikamaru_ appears. He is running around screaming "Come out come out wherever you are!"_)

Kakashi: (_To audience_). Maybe he knows where Dr. Sunju's office is. (_To _Shikamaru) Hey! Kid! Would you mind helping me out?

(_Instead of slowing down _Shikamaru_ runs into _Kakashi_. _Kakashi_ falls flat on his ass _Shikamaru_ just lies on top of him, staring at him as if he had something on his face_.)

Kakashi: Um...would you mind getting off of me?

Shikamaru: Nope, not at all. (_He stays right were he is._ Kakashi_ pushes him off, gets up and grabs his things. _Shikamaru_ sits cross-legged staring at_ Kakashi).

Shikamaru: Hey, you haven't seen my shadow around here have you?

Kakashi: Your shadow?

Shikamaru: "Yup. I think he told me to meet him at noon...but he's not here."

(Kakashi _has an expression that reads something along the lines of 'right...of course'_). Do you think you could you give him a message for me?

Kakashi: A message for your shadow?

Shikamaru: Yes, tell him to tell you where you are so then you can tell me and then I can find him. (Kakashi _still has the same puzzled look_)

Kakashi: What's your name anyway?

Shikamaru: Shikamaru.

Kakashi: And your last name?

Shikamaru: How soon do you need it?

Kakashi: Forget your first name.

Shikamaru: I did. (Kakashi _helps him up_).

Kakashi: My name is Kakashi Hatake. I will be the new teacher for this village.

(Shikamaru _takes_ Kakashi's _hand and shakes violently_)

Shikamaru: Is that so! It's very nice to meet you Kakashi Hatake. I am Shikamaru Something. Will you be spending the night? (_He's still shaking_ Kakashi's _hand, just smiling_. Kakashi _has to pull his hand away with force in order to get his hand free_).

Kakashi: You don't understand, Konoha will be my new home. I am going to teach here, and if I may say so, I am an excellent teacher.

Shikamaru: They all were. They came by the thousands. But none of them lasted through the first night.

Kakashi: You're telling me you have had _thousands_ of teachers?

Shikamaru: More, Hundreds! We're un-teachable here in Konoha. There isn't a town or village more stupid in all of China.

Kakashi: Japan.

Shikamaru: Whatever. All good people, just not a good brain among them.

Kakashi: You're telling me that every man, woman and child....?

Shikamaru Stupid. Even me! Talk to me for another 10 minutes, you might begin to notice.

Kakashi: I was hired by Dr. Tsunade Sunju to teach her pupil.

(Shikamaru_ starts to laugh_).

Shikamaru: Teach her pupil! That girl is hopeless. 19 years old and she only recently learned to sit down. She doesn't even know the difference between a dog and a snake, not that that's an easy subject.

Kakashi: (_To audience_)_. _Hmm. Come to think of it, every word in the advertisement _was_ misspelled. Maybe the good Doctor will explain it to me.

Kakashi: It was good speaking with you Shikamaru.

Shikamaru: Yes, yes it was. (_To audience_). He's not the only one who can talk to you guys. I can too. (_Silence_) Fine, be that way. Oh, I should really get going. (_He starts to walk off_).

Kakashi: I'm sure we'll meet again.

Shikamaru: Sure. Just mention my name to anyone. Shikamaru the shadow loser.

(Guy _enters_)

Guy: (_screaming_) Nine o'clock and all is well. (_Exits_).

Kakashi: (_To audience_). First off, why in the world would he be doing that? Second, all may have been well with him, but I am beginning to think otherwise.

**~\~\~**


	2. A1 S2

**To tell you the honest to goodness truth, I didn't expect people to read this. BUUUUUTTTTT, you guys are totally awesome and are reading it. So YAY!**

**Lets get on with it....**

**~/~ **_Scene 2 _**/**

(_Bring in Ramen Shop. _Naruto _enters. He is sweeping outside of his shop. Looks up and smiles. _Nenji_ enters)._

Naruto: Hey there Nenji!

Nenji: Hello Naruto.

Naruto: It's such a nice day out.

Nenji: Really? I haven't looked up yet. (_He looks up_). Yes, yes it's quite lovely.

Naruto: Do you think I have any mail?

Nenji: No. I'm the postman, I have all the mail.

Naruto: Oh, well. My friend in Suna hasn't been feeling to good. I was wondering if I heard from her.

Nenji: Well, Its very difficult to hear all the way from Suna. Perhaps she wrote a letter. Allow me to check. (_He trifles through his bag. _Ino _enters carrying a basket filled with assorted candies. She is yelling "Flowers"_)_._

Ino: Hey Naruto! Buy something from me, would you? Come on, I know you want to buy a rose for your sweetheart. Perhaps Hinata might like a lovely purple orchid.

Naruto: Ino, those are candies. (_Pause_) And why would I want to buy something for Hinata?

Ino: Well, this morning we came into the shop and all the flowers were dead. Why should my family suffer? Just buy something.

Nenji: (_Getting up with a letter in hand_). There doesn't seem to be a letter from your friend. But there is a beautiful letter from the carpenter's brother. Would you like it?

Naruto: Is he sick? I hate reading bad news.

Nenji: No, no. Perfect health. Please, take it. You'll enjoy it.

Ino: Can you believe that my mother hasn't written me in over a year!

Nenji: Ino, don't you live with your mother?

Ino: Yeah. It's a good thing too. Otherwise I would never hear from her.

(Kakashi _enters_).

Kakashi: Good morning. My name is Kakashi Hatake. I'm the new teacher. Can I ask your names?

Naruto: Yo. I'm Naruto. This is my Ramen shop.

Kakashi: Nenji. (_He bows_).

Ino: Ino.

Kakashi: Nice to meet you all. I was actually just speaking to someone named Shikamaru.

Nenji: Yes, yes. We all know Shikamaru well.

Kakashi: He seemed nice enough. Although - I don't want to seem rude – somewhat deficient in his mental alertness.

Ino: That's Shikamaru for you. (_Knock on her head_). He kinda fell out of a tree. His head broke his fall.

Kakashi: Oh my! When?

Ino: Wednesday......Thursday....twice on Friday and about a dozen times on Saturday.

Kakashi: Huh.....(_looking at _Ino's _candies_). Oh! I could really go for something sweet right about now. Mind if I partake?

Ino: Sure! A rose is $3 and a tulip is $2.

Kakashi: (_Confused_) Pardon?

Ino: Oh! If that's too much there is a daisy for only $1.

Kakashi: Well. Okay. (_To audience_) Dialect must be a little different here....(_To group_) Can you folks be so kind as to point me in the direction of Dr. Tsunade Sunju's office?

All Three: (_Pointing in different directions_) That way.

Kakashi: Maybe I'll go in a direction you haven't pointed in...(Shikamaru _appears_). Have you found your.....shadow....yet? (Kakashi _exits_).

Shikamaru: Nope. (_To group_). Who was that?

Naruto: The new teacher or something.

Shikamaru: Another one? I just met one a few minutes ago. There must be a convention or something.

Ino: Uchiha isn't going to be too happy about this.

Nenji: That's true. Uchiha doesn't like teachers.

Shikamaru: Why?

Nenji: He is afraid they will break the curse.

Shikamaru: Curse? What curse?

Nenji: The curse that made us stupid.

Shikamaru: Oh right. I forgot.

Naruto: Yup. I've been dumb 20 years. How about you guys?

Shikamaru: 21 years.

Nenji: 21 as well.

Ino: Only 19.

Naruto: Yeah right. We all know you're our age. Quit lying to yourself.

Ino: Naruto, you better shut up before I hit you.

(_All exit_).

**~\~\~**


	3. A1 S3a

**Random Quote of the....day?: "Some say, in my pockets. I say, in my pants." – The Brothers Chaps**

****

**Story based off of **_**Fools**_** by Neil Simon**

**Characters by Masashi Kishimoto**

_**~/~ **__Scene 3 __**~/~**_

(Out_ Ramen Shop. Bring In _Doctor's_ Office._ Tsunade _and_ Guy _enter. _Guy _is reading off an eye chart)._

Guy: E.....G.....R.....B......4......L.....V....Is that right?

Tsunade: I don't know. Sounds right to me. (Tsunade _gets up, situates her stethoscope to use. Listens to_ Guy's _heart_). Yes.....yes....(_places stethoscope on_ Guy's _head_). Very interesting.....

Guy: Then I'm in good health?

Tsunade: The best! You'll live to be 30.

Guy: But I'm 31 now.

Tsunade: Hmm...that's strange. Perhaps its all that silly exercise you always do. But I assure you, you haven't got much time left.

Guy: I doubt that! I will live forever!

Tsunade: (_Looking through papers on her desk, barley interested_). Sure.

Guy: In order to maintain my youthful demeanor I must continue to strive to be better.

Tsunade: Uh huh. Do you want a prescription?

Guy: For what? I'm not sick.

Tsunade: I don't know. Some people like prescriptions. (_She scribbles something on a prescription pad and gives it to_ Guy). Here, take this to the pharmacist and take it two to three times a day with a little water, or sake, or any other drink of your choice.

Guy: How much do i owe you Doctor?

Tsunade: Oh, forget about it. If I ever go to medical school, you can send me a little something.

Guy: Oh thank you Dr. Tsunade. Thank you.

(Guy _exits _Jariaya _enters super duper excited_).

Jariaya: Tsunade! He's here! He's here! Oh man! What if he's the one who will finally be our salvation!

Tsunade: (_Pulling out a bottle of sake_). Calm down you idiot. Who's come? Who will be our salvation.

Jariaya: The new.......umm....the new...Oh! What do you call them? We used to have them, but not anymore.

Tsunade: Oh! I know what you're talking about!

Jariaya: You know! They have a place. And you go to the place-

Tsunade: Right, right. Then they point to you and say-umm- they ask- er....

Jariaya: And if you don't answer they say "Next time I'll make you!"

Tsunade: And he's outside?

Jariaya: Just down the street!

Tsunade: Well, stupid, show him in! Lets prey he's the one who will free us from this terrible....um....er....what is it we have again?

Jariaya: Oh. I know what you mean. It sounds like nurse.

Tsunade: Nurse.

Jariaya: Or is it hearse.

Tsunade: Hearse.

Jariaya: Something like that.

Tsunade: Something like that. (_There is a knock_). Or is it a knock?

Jariaya: We have a knock?

Tsunade: Yes, yes! Open the knock. (_He struggles with opening the door_). The other way you stupid ass. (_He gets the door open, _Kakashi_ stands in the door frame)._

Jariaya: Please, enter sir.

Kakashi: Dr. Tsunade Sunju, Sir Jariaya, such an pleasure to meet you. My name is Kakashi Hatake.

Tsunade: So you are the new....the new....

Kakashi: Yes, I am he.

Tsunade: It's he Jariaya! The new....the new....

Jariaya: You look way too young to be a....to be a....

Kakashi: No no. You will find that I am one of the best young...well, I don't want to seem immodest.

Tsunade: Oh please! Be immodest. We love immodesty.

Jariaya: The more immodest the better. The best young _what?_

Kakashi: One of the best young teachers in all of Japan!

Tsunade: A _teacher_! He's a _teacher_!

Jariaya: Of course! The new teacher is here!

Kakashi: Well, thank you for this...overwhelming....reception.

Tsunade: Make yourself at home teacher. Put down your bags teacher. Take a seat teacher. Perhaps you would like some sake teacher. (_She begins pouring a round. Then knocks them all back herself)._

Jariaya: Perhaps you would like a pen a paper teacher? Or maybe you would like to start teaching right away teacher?

Kakashi: Right. Well, no one is more excited than I. (_Addressing _Jariaya). Excuse me sir, but you wouldn't happen to be the same Jariaya, author of these books. (_He holds up one of his orange books_).

Jariaya: Books?

Tsunade: How can we be of service?

Kakashi: Well there were some questions I wanted to ask you.

Tsunade: Questions! That's what they ask! They point to you and you don't know. He knows! He knows what questions are! Oh, this kid is going to be a good teacher, I can sense it.

Jariaya: Would you be so kind as to ask us a question. It's been so long since we have been asked a good _school_ question.

Kakashi: Umm, sure. But there are many different kinds of question. Would you like a question in mathematics, science, or maybe a philosophical question.

Tsunade: The first one. The philosophical one.

Kakashi: Okay.....What is the purpose of man's existence?

Jariaya: What a question. Tsunade, have you ever heard such a question.

Tsunade: I'm speechless.

Kakashi: Do you want to know the answer?

Tsunade: No, no, not today. To be asked a question like _that_ in one lifetime is more than we have ever expected. The answer should be saved for someone more.....worthy than we are.

Kakashi: It's your birthright. Knowledge is everyone's birthright.

Jariaya: Psh. Everyone _not_ born in Konoha.

Kakashi: I don't understand.

Tsunade: You would if you knew about the nurse.

Kakashi: What nurse?

Jariaya: Not the nurse. The hearse.

Kakashi: The hearse?

Tsunade: He means the purse.

Kakashi: What kind of purse?

Tsunade: Oh, you know. The kind of purse that inflicts the wrath of God on the poor souls unfortunate enough to be born in this village.

Kakashi: Do you mean....a curse?

Tsunade: (_Both_ _jump in _excitement). _Curse!_ That's what it is!

Jariaya: We were so close! _So_ close!

Kakashi: (_Clears throat_). Excuse me, but what is this curse?

Jariaya: Tsunade, bolt the door, draw the curtains.

Tsunade: I can't draw curtains. I can draw a cat or a fish. (_Pause_) And why should I do all that stuff? _I'm_ the doctor! _You_ draw curtains!

Jariaya: Would you lower your voice!?

Tsunade: (_Bends her knees to make herself shorter_). How low should my voice be?

Jariaya: That's low enough. Where's the book?

Tsunade: I'll get it. (_She goes to book shelf with knees still bent_).

Jariaya: Young man, have you ever heard of the Curse of Konoha?

Kakashi: No, I can't say that I have.

Tsunade: (_Springing up_). You can't say that?! Even Jariaya can say that.

Jariaya: The Curse Of Konoha.

Kakashi: What is this curse doctor?

Tsunade: Two hundred years ago, a curse was put on this village that struck down every man, woman, child and domestic animal, including all their ancestors for generations to come, leaving each of them – and this you'll find hard to believe – with no more intelligence than a bump on a log.

Kakashi: (_Chuckling_). Doctor, I don't believe in curses. Curses are old wives tales.

Tsunade: No, no. You're thinking of Iwa. In Iwa, all the old wives have tails.

Kakashi: But who would inflict this curse on such a peaceful and...simple...village.

Tsunade: Who indeed. It's all in this book of curses. (_Blows dust off cover into _Kakashi's _face_. _Addressing _Jariaya). I thought you said you dusted this?

Jariaya: I put dust on it yesterday.

Tsunade: (_To_ Kakashi). Here, read for yourself. The pages are marked.

Kakashi: The pages are all stuck together.

Jariaya: I marked it with maple syrup. (_They all sit on sofa_). Read it to us.

**~\~\~**

**This scene is rather long, so I will cut it off here. More when I'm done with all my crazy schoolwork.**

**I do hope you all are enjoying. It's actually fairly fun to convert this Russian fairy tale into a Naruto fan-fiction. Haha. **


	4. A1 S3b

**:D I could NOT be happier right now!!!! I found out that I got into Boston University. And not just Boston University, but also one of their most competitive programs!!! Oh man.**

**Anyway, enough of my happiness, now for your entertainment, Scene 3b.**

_**~/~**__**Scene 3 cont.** __**~/~**_

Kakashi: "On the morning of April the second, in the year 1691, in the Village of Konoha, two young people fell hopelessly in love."

Jariaya: I knew it. Whenever two young people fall in love, you know a curse is coming.

Kakashi: You have heard this before, haven't you?

Tsunade: Many times. But we never understand it. It's a very well thought out curse.

Jariaya: So what happens next?

Kakashi: "The boy was a young, handsome and fierce, although illiterate warrior named Izuna Uchiha. The girl was a student of one of the most prominent doctors in the village, Hashirama Senju."

Jariaya: Senju! I've heard that name before.

Tsunade: I've seen it! I've seen it on a front door somewhere...In _this_ neighborhood.

Kakashi: It's on _your_ front door. _Your_ name is Senju.

Tsunade: Wait a minute! That means that the doctor in the story...may possibly be related...to our front door!

Kakashi: (_To audience_). Aaaaanywaaaaaaaaay...I continue. "The young girls name was Sakura." (_To_ Tsunade). May I ask the name of your pupil?

Tsunade: Sakura.

Kakashi: Sakura? The identical name of the girl in the curse over two hundred years ago.

Jariaya: I can't believe it. Unless she's been lying about her age...

Kakashi: "The match was doomed from the start. When Hashirama Senju, who was very protective of the young Sakura, found out that young Izuna was illiterate, he forbade Sakura from ever seeing Izuna again. Six months later Sakura married a young student, and that winter Izuna, distraught and despondent, took his own life by plowing his own grave and planting himself in it. Upon hearing of his death, Izuna's brother, Madara Uchiha –"

Tsunade & Jariaya: (_Shaking_) Tremble, tremble, tremble, tremble, tremble.

Kakashi: "– Izuna's brother, Madara Uchiha –"

Tsunade & Jariaya: Tremble, tremble, tremble, tremble, tremble.

Kakashi: "– Izuna's brother, Madara Uchiha –"

Tsunade & Jariaya: Tremble, tremble, tremble, tremble, tremble.

Kakashi: "– who caused people to tremble at the mention of his name –"

Tsunade: (_Hitting_ Kakashi). Next time don't mention his name.

Kakashi: "– Izuna's brother, Ma –"

Tsunade & Jariaya: (_Shaking a little_) Trem –

Kakashi: "– and So-and-So, sometimes known as the sorcerer because of his ability to summon the powers of the Devil himself, brought all his wrath and fury down upon Konoha..."

Jariaya: Here is comes! Here it comes!

Kakashi: "'A curse! A curse upon all who dwell in Konoha!' he cried. 'May the young Sakura, murderer of my only brother, be struck down by the ignorance that caused my brother's death! May stupidity engulf her brain! May incompetence encumber her faculties! May common sense become uncommon and reason, unreasonable! May her children be cursed as well. And may all who live in Konoha be born in ignorance and die in ignorance, unable to leave this cursed village until my final vengeance has been satisfied!'" (_Panting_).

Tsunade: That would explain why the train doesn't stop here.

Kakashi: (_To audience_). First thing I wanted to do....Panic. The second thing I wanted to do...Panic. To educate is one thing, to break curses is another.

Tsunade: Excuse me, are you alright Kakashi?

Kakashi: Yes, yes, I was just thinking.

Tsunade: Jariaya...did you hear that? He was thinking.

Jariaya: He was thinking.

Tsunade: (_To_ Kakashi). What's it like?

Kakashi: You mean you don't know what thinking is?

Tsunade: I don't and he certainly doesn't.

Kakashi: Thinking...Well, it's the thoughts that come to one's mind. It is the process that allows us to make decisions.

Tsunade: Decisions? No, I don't think we're capable of that.

Kakashi: But you know what you want, don't you?

Jariaya: Oh hell yes. We want someone to help us. Well...not so much us, we've already lived our lives. But for the young ones in our village.

Tsunade: Specifically Sakura.

Kakashi: Did you hear what you just said?

Jariaya: No...I wasn't listening.

Kakashi: It was a decision. You decided you wanted to help your pupil because you thought about it. You are capable of thought. You think.

Jariaya: No, I don't think so. It just kinda...came out.

Kakashi: Out of your head. Where your brain is encased. The center of thoughts. And if its possible to have one insignificant thought, it's possible to expand that thought into ideas, ideas into comprehension, comprehension into creativity, and finally intelligence.

Tsunade: Will I be able to open jars?! I have terrible...trouble...opening jars....

Kakashi: (_Aside_). Stay calm Kakashi, stay calm. (_To _Tsunade). Patience will break this curse. By the painstaking work of education, we can do it. I would like to begin by seeing your pupil, Sakura.

Tsunade: Sakura?

Kakashi: Yes. Since the curse started with the young Sakura two hundred years ago, I believe that the key to ending it lies with the young girl of the same name. Can I see Sakura?

Jariaya: Not from here. She's up in her room. We would have to send for her.

Tsunade: Do as the teacher asks.

Jariaya: I don't want to go get her....she may be doing...you know...girly things. It would be rude for me to intrude.

Tsunade: That never stopped you from walking in on me!

Jariaya: Yeah, but your old.

Tsunade: Why you! (_About ready to pummel him_).

Kakashi: Eh hem. The girl, please.

Tsunade: You heard the man. (Jariaya _begrudgingly gets up to fetch her_). Remember idiot, up the stairs and to the left. (_He goes. To_ Kakashi). You'll find that she's a delicate girl. Not like the others in the village. She has so many interests, always occupied.

Kakashi: Occupied with what?

Tsunade: You know, interesting things...like touching things – wood, paper, metal. She likes drinking water.

(Jariaya _returns_).

Jariaya: Kakashi Hatake, may I present to you (_looks at hand where her name is written_), Sakura Hanuro. (Sakura _enters_). Sakura, this will be your new sensei.

Kakashi: (_Cooley_) Miss Hanuro. (_Aside, slightly dazed_). Well. That vision before me, is she as breathe taking as she seems? Never have I seen a beauty such as her. Watch it Kakashi, she is your student, not the object of your dormant feelings of passion, only heightened by those wonder...full...books....(_He shakes himself from his fantasy and turns back to them_). Excuse me.

Tsunade: Sakura, do you know what he was just doing? He was thinking! Isn't that wonderful?

Sakura: Yes Sir.

Tsunade: Sakura, I've told you a million times, call me Tsunade. And I am not a Sir!

Kakashi: Please, sit down Miss Hanuro.

(_She sits very slowly, when she finally does sit, _Tsunade _and_ Jariaya _embrace and scream, "she did it!"_ Tsunade _pushes_ Jariaya _away and sits back down _Tsunade_ turns to _Kakashi).

Tsunade: Was that not a beautiful sit?

Kakashi: Yes, lovely. (_To _Sakura). Miss Hanuro, may I call you Sakura.

Sakura: Sakura?

Tsunade: It's your name honey.

Jariaya: Say, "Yes, Yes you may call me Sakura."

Kakashi: Please, sir. She needs to speak for herself. (_To _Sakura). I should very much like to be your friend. Would it please you if I called you Sakura? (Sakura_ looks confused_).

Tsunade: It's been so long since she's taken a test.

Kakashi: I think she wants to say something.

Sakura: I – I would be very please to have you call me Sakura.

Jariaya: There you go!

Tsunade: I'm so proud. So proud!

Kakashi: Please, it's very distracting to the girl's concentration. (_To _Sakura). I've come a long way to help you with your education. I believe that under ordinary circumstances, you have the potential to be a very bright young woman. But...someone has put a cloud over those amazing green eyes of yours and I plan to remove that cloud. But I need your help Sakura, will you give me that help?

Sakura: Yes. You may call me Sakura.

Tsunade: She did it again! That's two in a row!

Kakashi: (_Aside_). Get a grip, Kakashi. Nothing ever comes easy...unfortunaly. (_To _Sakura). I would like to ask you a very simple question. It wont be hard, I promise you. I would never want to cause a frown on that...fair...face...Now, What it your favorite color.

Sakura: My favorite color?

Kakashi: Yes. Is it red, or blue, or green, or orange. Any color at all. What is your favorite?

Tsunade: I used to know that one.

Kakashi: I'll ask you one more time Sakura. What-is-your-favorite-color?

Jariaya: Oh come on! Why is he being so hard on her. This isn't a university or anything.

Sakura: My favorite color –

Kakashi: Yes?!

Sakura: – is pink.

Kakashi: Pink! Her favorite color is Pink! Why, Sakura? Why is Pink your favorite color?

Sakura: Because it doesn't stick to your fingers as much.

Jariaya: She's wrong. It's blue that doesn't stick to your fingers as much. Defiantly blue....I think.

Kakashi: That's a very interesting answer, Sakura. There is a certain logic to that answer. The fact that that logic completely escapes me at the moment doesn't change the fact that there is something going on. Sakura, I'm going to ask you another question. I'm going to ask you to make a wish. Do you know what a wish is?

Sakura: A wish is something you hope for that doesn't come true.

Kakashi: Maybe we can change that. If you could make a wish, any wish at all that could come true, what would it be.

Sakura: What would I wish for?

Kakashi: Yes, Sakura, what would you wish for?

Sakura: I wish...that I could fly like a bird...to soar over buildings and trees...to float on the wind and be carried away...over mountains and lakes...over forests and rivers...to meet people in other villages...to see what the world is like...to know all the things that I will never know because I always need to stay here.

Kakashi: Sakura, that is the most beautiful wish I have ever hear. (_To_ Tsunade & Jariaya). Do you know what that wish means? To fly like a bird means to sever the bonds that chain her to ignorance. She wants to grow, she wants knowledge! I promise you this, I shall gather all of my strength and make Sakura Hanuro's wish come true.

Sakura: If you could do that sensei I would be in your debt...forever.

Kakashi: This girl...eh...young woman, has such a sweet soul and such a pure heart. We must begin as soon as possible. Not another moment can be lost. (_To _Sakura). What subject would you like to start with?

Sakura: I should like to begin...with...languages.

Kakashi: Of course! Languages! What language shall we begin with?

Sakura: (_Thinks_). Rabbit.

Kakashi: _Rabbit?_

Tsunade: Rabbit is such a hard language. Barely anyone speaks it anymore.

Jariaya: As long as she gets a few lines, it's enough to start with.

Sakura: Am I done for today?

Kakashi: Yes, yes of course. (_He takes one of his orange books and begins reading_).

Sakura: Then I will go to my room.

Tsunade: Watch how she gets up from the chair, Watch! You didn't see. Sakura, do it again.

Kakashi: It's not necessary. She's past getting up chairs.

Jariaya: They are so much smarter than in our day.

Sakura: Until tomorrow Sensei.

Kakashi: (_Looking up from book_). Until tomorrow. (_He smiles politely_).

Sakura: I think that you are the most beautiful teacher I have ever seen Kakashi Hatake. I pray you will not despair of Konoha.... and that you will stay with us forever. (_She leaves_).

Jariaya: She found the door!

Tsunade: I've never seen Sakura so...radiant. Jariaya, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Jariaya: I'm not even thinking what I'm thinking. What the hell are you talking about?

Tsunade: I'm thinking that Sakura has taken a liking to Mr. Hatake.

Kakashi: (_Intrigued_). If that is true Doctor, then I may the happiest man on the happiest planet. (_Putting the book down_). Is she spoken for?

Tsunade: Spoken for?

Kakashi: Does she have anyone in love with her?

Tsunade: We don't talk about such things.

Kakashi: Why not?

Tsunade: There is no one. No one at all. Not even _him_.

Kakashi: _Him_?

Jariaya: She didn't mean Him. She meant someone who isn't him.

Kakashi: There is someone. Who is it?

Tsunade: If I tell you who him was, you must promise never to say it was I who told you it was him.

Kakashi: Promise.

Tsunade: Have you ever heard of...Count Sasuke of Konoha?

Kakashi: I can't say that I have.

Tsunade: You can't say that? Even this idiot can say that.

Jariaya: Count Sasuke of Ko –

Kakashi: (_Annoyed_). Yes! Yes, I can say it. Who is he?

Jariaya: He's one of them. The one who put the purse on us.

Kakashi: You mean an Uchiha?

Tsunade: The last of his line.

Kakashi: So what is the deal with him and Sakura.

Tsunade: He proposes marriage twice a day.

Kakashi: Twice a day?

Jariaya: Six-fifteen in the morning and eight-thirty at night.

Kakashi: He cares that much for her?

Tsunade: No, no. He cares only about avenging his ancestors. If my pupil were to marry an Uchiha, the nurse would be over.

Kakashi: So does Sakura care for him?

Tsunade: She has said no for many years now, but she can't continue for much longer. The poor girl wants to sleep in at least once.

Kakashi: Okay....What kind of man is this Uchiha?

Jariaya: You know...like the rest of.

Kakashi: You mean he is cursed as well?

Tsunade: He still lives in this village, he's not permitted to leave either.

Kakashi: Understood. (_Aside_) If I have a rival, I am more determined than ever to break this curse. (_To Doctor_) I almost forgot to ask. What about lodgings?

Tsunade: Oh we'll be very comfortable here, thank you.

Kakashi: Right....Well, good day.

Tsunade: Oh, Kakashi, before you go, would you be so kind as to ask us that question again?

Kakashi: Sure. What is the purpose of man's existence?

Tsunade: Amazing.

Kakashi: Well, until tomorrow.

Jariaya: Wait! I – I think I know. I think I know the answer!

Kakashi: To the purpose of man's existence?

Tsunade: What are you talking about?

Jariaya: It's true. The first time a heard it, I didn't understand. But now...suddenly...something came to me. I now my limitations, but still, what if I'm right!?

Kakashi: What do you think the purpose of man's existence is?

Jariaya: I think...it's..._twelve_.

Kakashi: _Twelve?!_

Jariaya: It's wrong. I can see it in your face. Fourteen?

Kakashi: I think you've missed the point...

Jariaya: Okay, okay, it's less than a hundred. Even _I'm _not that stupid. Eighty-three? Forty-six?

Kakashi: We'll talk about it when we get to philosophy. Don't think about it too much. Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. (_He walks out of the house into the street and screams_). _TWELVE?!_

Tsunade: You Idiot! Couldn't you have left well enough alone?!

Kakashi: (_In street_) _TWELVE!_

Jariaya: Yeah...but, but, what If I was right?! I could have sold the answer for a fortune! (_The exit. Out Doctor's office, in balcony_).

Kakashi: Okay. That's it. I _was_ going to stay and try and break this curse. But the second he said "twelve," I knew it was time to go. I need to just forget about this place and move on.

Sakura: (_offstage_) Sensei!

Kakashi: Sakura? Where are you?

Sakura: (_Appears on balcony_) Down here. I had to see you again.

Kakashi: In the cold? You'll catch a chill.

Sakura: Oh, I never catch colds.

Kakashi: You don't.

Sakura: Oh, I've tried. I've just never really learned how.

Kakashi: Be grateful. Some things aren't worth knowing.

Sakura: I know something happened a long time ago that prevents me from knowing what happened a long time ago. Oh, if only you knew me how I might have been instead of the way I am.

Kakashi: But if you weren't the way you are, I might never of come here to help you become the way you might have been. (_Aside_). Careful Kakashi, you're beginning to think like her.

Sakura: Could you ever care for someone who never became the way I might have been?

Kakashi: Could I ever....? I see what you mean. Yes. Yes, I could. I would. I shall. I will. I have. I do.

Sakura: Is that rabbit your speaking? It's hard to follow.

Kakashi: If it sounds like gibberish Sakura, it's because you do that to me. When words come from the heart they sometimes trip over the tongue.

Sakura: Then I should watch where I walk when you speak. I must go. Everything depends upon tomorrow.

Kakashi: And if not tomorrow, then the tomorrow after tomorrow, and all the tomorrow's for the rest of my life.

Sakura: Nope. Everything depends on tomorrow. If we fail, we may never see each other again.

Kakashi: Never see each other? What do you mean?

Sakura: I never know what I mean. I have thoughts. But they always disappear by the time the reach my lips.

Kakashi: If I ever reached your lips I would never disappear.

Sakura: Would you like to kiss me?

Kakashi: With all my heart.

Sakura: I was thinking more with your lips.

Kakashi: An even better suggestion.

Sakura: Well then, come on up here.

Kakashi: I'm climbing as fast as I can.

(_She disappears_).

Kakashi: (_Climbs onto balcony_). Sakura? Where are you?

Sakura: (_In the street_). Up here.

Kakashi: (_To audience_). If only she were ugly I would be half way home by now. (_To _Sakura). Stay where you are. I'll come to you.

Sakura: Okay. (_He remains, She disappears_).

Kakashi: After a while, you get used to it.

Sakura: (_On balcony_). Here I am.

Kakashi: My kiss, sweet Sakura. (_They kiss_)

Sakura: As we kissed, I felt a strange flutter in my heart.

Kakashi: As did I.

Sakura: You felt a flutter in my heart too? How alike we are, and yet your hair is so different. I have to go. I'm about to go to sleep and I want to get to bed in time. (_She exits_)

Kakashi: I know the dangers of loving such a simple soul. A lifetime of sweet, blissful passion, and very short conversations at breakfast. (_There is a clap of thunder_). I should probably find a good place to stay. (_He climbs down from the balcony. He pulls out his book. There is another loud clap._)

**~\~\~**

**Flip! That scene took FO-EV-AH! That's the longest scene...I think. I think it's the funniest because it has the most between Tsunade and Jariaya, which is where most of the comedy is.**

**Anyway. Quite sorry I took so damn long. A combination of school coming to a close for winter vacation and finding out I got into college, plus my terrible laziness made it difficult to sit down and write.**

**Later doods!**


	5. A1 S4

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!**

**Wait a second.... I'm a jew.**

**Ehh, who cares.**

**Enjoy your present, no matter what religious denomination you hark from. **

_**~/~ Scene 4 ~/~**_

(_Clap of thunder. _Kakashi _still reading his book_)

Shikamaru: Was that you?

Kakashi: Was what me?

Shikamaru: Were you the one who made that terrible noise?

Kakashi: Nooo....that was thunder and lightning. It's caused by extreme atmospheric pressures in the sky.

Shikamaru: Well, whoever did it is going to get Uchiha very angry at us.

Kakashi: Uchiha?

Shikamaru: He's the one who lives all alone in the big compound up on the hill. Every time he hears someone make that noise he throws water down on us.

Kakashi: No, no Shikamaru, that's rain.

(Ino_ enters carrying flowers_)

Ino: Umbrellas! Umbrellas for sale! Get you Umbrellas before he throws the water!

Kakashi: Ino, no one throws water. It's rain from the skies caused by a build up of condensed moisture.

Ino: You can tell that to these idiots, but I've taken a class...Umbrellas!

Kakashi: Excuse me, but would either one of you happen to know of a place to stay?

(Naruto _&_ Neji _appear_)

Naruto: What's with all the noise?

Neji: I had the feeling that Uchiha was going to throw water.

Kakashi: Neji would you happen to know –

(_Chimes, which precede ringing of steeple bells_)

Naruto: Oh! Its time for Uchiha to propose again!

Neji: This could be it, one yes from her and we could all be freed from this curse.

Kakashi: You want Sakura to marry him?

Shikamaru: Not if she doesn't want to. But it would be nice to remember my last name.

Kakashi: That's a terrible sacrifice to ask from her.

Ino: What kind of sacrifice? Have you seen Uchiha? He's one of the best-looking people in this village. _Plus_, she would be waited on hand and foot. What kind of girl _wouldn't_ want that?

Kakashi: But does she love him?

Shikamaru: What?

Kakashi: Does she love him?

Naruto: We don't have any.

Kakashi: Any what?

Naruto: Love! It's part of the curse.

Kakashi: Still don't get it.

Neji: I can hear him coming. Mr. Hatake, you better get out of here. He doesn't like people around.

(Neji, Shikamaru _and_ Naruto _leave_ Ino_ moves to leave_.)

Kakashi: Ino, is it true that there's no love in Konoha?

Ino: I wouldn't know. My late boyfriend has been gone about 3 years.

Kakashi: Oh, I'm sorry.

Ino: It's a long time to be late. I wish he was dead. (_She leaves_)

Kakashi: Okay, okay. I'm starting to freak out a little bit. The idea of losing Sakura...No, no, I can't even think about it. I think I'll eavesdrop. (_He hides behind a tree, reading his book all the while_)

Sasuke: (_Offstage_) Sakura! (_He enters_). Sweet Cherry Blossom. It's time to wake up...it's time to get proposed to. She's asleep. Perhaps a pebble will awaken her. (_He picks up a rock and throws it over the balcony. We hear glass crashing._ Jariaya _enters on balcony_).

Jariaya: Who did that?

Sasuke: It was me.

Jariaya: Oh! _You_.

Sasuke: Hn. I've come to propose.

Jariaya: Well, I think you're a little to young for me.

Tsunade: (_Offstage_). Hey Idiot! Where are you?

Jariaya: I'm out here Tsunade. What do you need?

Tsunade: (_Entering_) I can't find the bandages, and my feet are bleeding. I know that the last time I used them was when I was covering that gash I made when I pushed you down the stairs. Wait...who are you talking to?

Sasuke: It is I Doctor. Sasuke Uchiha. I have come to prose to Sakura.

Tsunade: She's busy throwing water on the drapes. They're on fire.

Jariaya: The drapes are on fire?

Tsunade: I had to light something. I couldn't find my candle.

(Sakura_ enters_).

Sakura: What's going on?

Jariaya: Did we wake you?

Sakura: No, I was reading by the light of the drapes.

Sasuke: I must be crazy trying to associate with these people.

Tsunade: Count Uchiha would like to propose to you.

Sasuke: Can we be alone?

Tsunade: No, no, I think Sakura should hear this.

Sasuke: Hn. Will you marry Sakura?

Sakura: That's very flattering Mr. Uchiha, but marriage is a very big step and I don't want to make that step when I don't have the intelligence to know what I'm getting myself into. Good night sir. Good night Jariaya, good night Tsunade.

Jariaya: Good night son. When you're done reading, could you put out the drapes.

Sasuke: I don't give up that easily. I'll be back in the morning.

Tsunade: Good night your grace.

Jariaya: Good night Grace. (_They leave_)

Sasuke: (_Aside_) Dealing with them is a curse worse than a curse.

Kakashi: (_Still reading_) I can think of worse things to deal with.

Sasuke: Who's there?

Kakashi: Forgive me sir. I was just passing by. Allow me to introduce myself. I am –

Sasuke: I know who you are. You're the new Sensei who has come here in a pathetic attempt to break the curse of Konoha.

Kakashi: Yes, and I have just witnessed you pathetic attempt to win over Sakura.

Sasuke: Everyone's a critic. The curse can only be broken if you can educate her, which you can't...or if she marries me.

Kakashi: Which apparently she won't. Why don't you just pursue some other girl?

Sasuke: Because Sakura is beautiful. No one else in the village has anything close to what I want in a woman.

Kakashi: I feel sorry for you. Good day sir.

Sasuke: Not _good_ day. _One_ day.

Kakashi: I beg your pardon?

Sasuke: Apparently you are not aware that if, at the end of one brief day you have not succeeded to raise her intellect you must be gone from our village. To remain for even one second past the allotted time means you will fall victim to the curse yourself. (_To audience_). I love that part.

Kakashi: I don't believe such crazy babble. You can threaten me all you want, but I will not leave. To be honest, I love Sakura Hanuro.

Sasuke: Love?!? There is no love in Konoha. It's all part of the curse.

Kakashi: So Sakura can't love me?

Sasuke: You have one day to find that out. One single day. Twenty-five measly hours.

Kakashi: Twenty-Four.

Sasuke: What?

Kakashi: There are Twenty-Four hours in a day.

Sasuke: I believe you are thinking of February, old man. Good Night. (_He leaves_).

Kakashi: So if I cannot teach Sakura to think in twenty-four hours, she will never be able to love me?

(Sakura _enters on balcony_)

Sakura: Kakashi!

Kakashi: Sakura! Are you alright?

Sakura: I must talk to you. Someplace where no one can see us.

Kakashi: Wherever you say.

Sakura: Can you meet me here?

Kakashi: Yes. When?

Sakura: Now!

Kakashi: Now? Well, yeah. That's where I am.

Sakura: Come up here. Hurry, hurry. It's of the utmost importance. I overheard your conversation with the count. (_He climbs up to balcony_) Kakashi, I can't be taught. You must leave Konoha at once.

Kakashi: Not without you.

Sakura: Then take me with you.

Kakashi: But the curse –

Sakura: It can't be broken. But we can live in the swamp and eat brow roots and I will become old and ugly and more stupid and more ignorant and never love you. But at least we'll be together.

Kakashi: That wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Sakura: Then we are lost.

Kakashi: No, Sakura. I will teach you. I will break this curse. Tomorrow.

Sakura: Kakashi, I wish I could love you.

Kakashi: You will Sakura, tomorrow. I promise.

Sakura: Until tomorrow. (_She leaves. He climbs down_).

Kakashi: I wish she would sleep in the kitchen.

(Sakura_ reappears_)

Sakura: Kakashi! Come back! Hurry, hurry.

(_He climbs back up_)

Kakashi: What is it?

Sakura: I couldn't sleep. I'm so frightened.

Kakashi: Don't be scared Sakura.

Sakura: If I could know that feeling of loving you just for one day, I would endure a hundred thousand years of curses. Good night Kakashi. (_She leaves_)

Kakashi: (_To audience_) She asks not to _be_ loved but to know what it means to giver her love to another. I may have stumbled onto a very...special place. (_He goes back to his book and begins to leave_)

Sakura: Kakashi! Wait! I forgot to tell you something.

Kakashi: Tomorrow Sakura. I can't _take_ any more news tonight. (_He walks off_)

CURTAIN

**~\~\~**

**End of Act 1! YEAH!**

**I do hope you enjoy this....late....Christmas (holiday) present. **


	6. A2 S1

**Goodness gracious. The last time I wrote this story was when I found out I got into school! And now…in a matter of months, I'm moving to Boston.**

**Anyway, sorry I haven't uploaded. My second semester of my last year of high school was a busy one. I needed to prep for AP tests and such and after Graduation I didn't want to do anything expect make sure I continued losing weight. (Down from 162…not ashamed to say it now…to 148 in 2 months :D****)!**

**So I suppose it is time to start up with Act 2 of Fools, Narutoized!**

**

* * *

**

**~/~ ****Act 2**** ~/~**

**~/~ Scene 1 ~/~**

_(Town Square, early next morning. _Shikamaru _enters enjoying the scenery._ Naruto _comes out of his shop.)_

Shikamaru: (_surprised)_ Naruto! Any news?

Naruto: About what?

Shikamaru: About what? About the curse, of course. Has it been lifted yet?

Naruto: How would I know?

Shikamaru: Well, is there anything about it in the paper?

Naruto: Maybe. Lets check. (_He picks up the paper)._ It rained last night.

Shikamaru: How do you know?

Naruto: I can feel it. The papers all wet.

Shikamaru: Maybe it was your dog.

Naruto: No, no. He's housebroken. He only goes inside. (Ino appears pulling a goat upside down.) Why are you dragging around a goat…upside down…?

Ino: He's tired. I've been milking him since four o'clock.

Naruto: Upside down?

Ino: Yes! You get more cream that way. (_She starts to leave_). Cream! Fresh cream! Drink it straight from the spigot! $2 a mouthful! (_She leaves_. _To Doctor's House. Tsunade and Jariaya enter_).

Tsunade: Jariaya, come have a drink with me. (_She pours each a shot of sake. They each take a glass and raise them up_). To Sakura and Kakashi. May his futile efforts succeed.

Jariaya: Amen (_They both take a drink_).

(_There is a knock_)

Tsunade: Was that the door?

Jariaya: No, I think it was someone knocking.

Tsunade: Well open it, open it! It must be Kakashi. (_She calls out._) Sakura! It's time. Wake up! Give yourself a nudge. (_To _Jariaya _as _Jariaya_ pushed against the door._) The other way! The other way!

(Kakashi _enters, breathless_.)

Kakashi: Do you know what time it is?

Tsunade: Ten to six?

Jariaya: Eight-fifteen?

Tsunade: A quarter to nine?

Jariaya: We don't have a clock.

Tsunade: Pick any one you want. Ten-twenty, eleven-forty, is there something you like?

Kakashi: You don't get it. Uchiha said that I had only twenty-four hours to break the curse after I arrived in Konoha. It's eight o'clock now. That means I only have one hour. It doesn't even leave me on hour. I just used up an entire minute explaining this to you. Could one of you get Sakura for me as soon as possible? Please.

(_We hear footsteps_. Sakura_ enters_).

Sakura: Good morning Tsunade. Good morning Jariaya. Good Morning Kakashi-sensei.

Tsunade: She did it! She got all three right! This is going to her day I know it!

Kakashi: (_To himself_) And looking more beautiful as ever.

Jariaya: Where shall we sit?

Kakashi: With all due respect, I need Sakura's full concentration this morning. I must ask you two to leave the room.

Tsunade: By all means. We'll see that you're not disturbed. Goodbye Sakura. (Tsunade_ and_ Jariaya_ walk over to the door.)_ If you succeed Kakashi, give us the signal by rapping on the window three times, followed by too short ones–

Jariaya: – followed by six long ones.

Tsunade: If you fail, rap seven times quickly –

Jariaya: – followed by three times slowly.

Tsunade: If you want lunch –

Kakashi: Will you please_ leave!_ (_He pushes them out the door_.)

Both: We're going! We're going! (_They are on the other side of the closed door._)

Tsunade: Something's not right; I can feel it in my bones.

Jariaya: He can hear you. Lower your voice.

(Tsunade_ bends her knees, lowering herself_.)

Tsunade: I'm a doctor. I know about these things. Why do you look taller than me lately? (_They exit_).

Kakashi: Sakura…Last night I decided that the task before us is one step beyond impossible. I knew I would fail and that I had to leave Kanoha, like all those who have failed before me,…but today, and this is difficult for me to say, looking into your eyes, I know there is no life for me without you. Therefore. We must not think of failure, we cannot afford to despair. Only a miracle can save us now.

Sakura: What's a miracle?

Kakashi: A miracle is a wish that god makes. We really should hurry Sakura. (_He picks up a book_). This is a primary book of mathematics. It is used to teach very small childrem bery simple problems in arithmetic.

Sakura: Don't you think that's a bit too advanced for me?

Kakashi: I don't think so, Sakura. We can't go back any further than this book. Now, lets begin…(_he opens the book A large number one fills up the page_). One is the figure, the word, the symbol for a single item. One figure, one Sakura, one Kakashi, one book…Now then I'm holding up one finger. Now I'm holding up a second finger. One plus one is two. Would you repeat that for me, Sakura.

Sakura: Which part?

Kakashi: One –

Sakura: One.

Kakashi: Plus one –

Sakura: Plus one.

Kakashi: Is two!

Sakura: Is two!

Kakashi: Exactly! Wonderful. We're making headway. Slow, invisible headway…I'm very, very proud of you Sakura. Are we ready to go on?

Sakura: Yes. History please. I hope I can master it as well as I have mathematics.

Kakashi: Well, I honestly don't think we've conquered mathematics yet. There are problems that could come up. Lets continue. One plus two is three.

Sakura: Am I finished with one plus one yet?

Kakashi: You are if you remember the answer.

Sakura: I remembered it before. Is it necessary for me to remember it again?

Kakashi: Of course it is nessesary to remember it again. It is nessesary to remember it for _always_.

Sakura: You mean you will always be asking what one plus one is?

Kakashi: No! once you tell me, we can move on to other things Like one plus two and one plus three and so on. But if you can't remember that one plus one is, then the answer to one plus two is meaningless.

Sakura: Do you know how much one plus one is?

Kakashi: Certainly.

Sakkura: Then why is is nessasary for me to now what one plus one is. Certainly if you know what it is, then you can tell me whenever I need to know.

Kakashi: I won't always be around to give you the answer. You have to know yourself in case other people ask you,

Sakura: But people around here never ask questions like that. Even if I told them the answer, the wouldn't know if it was right.

Kakashi: Because they are cursed with ignorance and we are trying to lift that debilitating affliction.

Sakura: You're getting angry with me. What's the point of being educated if you get angry? When you don't ask me such questions you always said he loveliest things to me, is this what it is like to be intelligent?

Kakashi: Bo, Sakura. It is I who am not being intelligent. It's frustration and impatience that drives me to such crude behavior. Forgive me. We'll start from th beginning again. One plus one is two. Repeat.

Sakura: One plus one is two. Repeat.

Kakashi: NO! Don't repeat the word repeat. Just repeat the part I say before I say the word repeat! Now watch me carefully: One plus one is two. Repeat!!

Sakura: What were you like as a little boy?

Kakashi: (_Angrily_) What was I like as a little boy?

Sakura: You're shouting again.

Kakashi: (_trying to placate her_) I was inquisitive. Probing. Wondering why we were put on the earth and what the purpose of man's existence was.

Sakura: The purpose of man's existence…!

Kakashi: (_Shouts_) I've had enough of that! Sakura, you must stop asking me questions. Put time is nearly gone.

Sakura: Then how am I to learn?

Kakashi: Sakura, you must answer what I ask, not what you want me to answer.

Sakura: Then I will only learn what you want me to learn. Why I can't I learn what I want to know?

Kakashi: Because what you want to know is of no practical value. What I want to teach you is acceptable knowledge.

Sakura: Is knowing what you were like as a little boy not acceptable knowledge?

Kakashi: Of course not. It's of no significance at all.

Sakura: But it is much more interesting than that which is significant.

Kakashi: But I'm not trying to interest you, I'm trying to educate you.

Sakura: I know. But while you fail to educate me, you never fail to interest me. I find that very significant.

Kakashi: There is nothing like the logic of an illogical mind.

* * *

**I'm making this act three scenes long even though it is actually two. I always felt that was a good scene change. I just love that line. **_**There is nothing like the logic of an illogical mind.**_** Oh how true.** **My lease favorite line in this show is also in this scene:**

_**Sakura…Last night I decided that the task before us is one step beyond impossible. I knew I would fail and that I had to leave Kanoha, like all those who have failed before me,…but today, and this is difficult for me to say, looking into your eyes, I know there is no life for me without you. Therefore. We must not think of failure, we cannot afford to despair. Only a miracle can save us now.**_

**It's such a cheesy line. So out of character for Kakashi. I hate it. But it's in the script and is needed to push the story along.**

**Oh well. That's it for now. Enjoy.**


End file.
